As you might imagine I tend to visit a few preemie websites (OK, probably more than a few).. Not as much as when Eliza was younger or when I was in the hospital for several weeks waiting for her inevitable very early birth seven years ago, but I still pop on to some of them now.
There seems to be a recurrent theme on a lot of websites about preemie parents who "wouldn't change a thing" about their journey which resulted in their child's premature birth. This sentiment is often declared in the same breath in which these same parents are seeking help, guidance or maybe just a listening ear about their child's delays, medical issues and their own anxieties about what the future will hold.
I will unabashedly admit that I do not understand the sentiment that a parent "wouldn't change a thing" about their child's journey through Preemieville. Really? You really wouldn't do anything to have stayed pregnant a little longer, have your child need one less day on a ventilator, one less infection, one less transfusion, one less procedure, one less evaluation, one less therapy session, one less accommodation on her IEP? Really?
Now some will say that this would mean I would want to change Eliza or who she is. Of course I don't want to change my child. Eliza is a delightful, loving, beautiful, funny child who is more tenacious than most adults I know.
And of course I think she is "perfect" as I am sure most parents believe their children are.
But if I could change the past to take away just one day of Eliza's pain or suffering I would do it in a minute.
