Children of the Apples

Let's be honest, even though this is my daughter and she is pretty adorable, is this not a "Children of the Corn" look she is giving me?  Then again, the glare may have been designed to scare off the other pickers from the tasty Gala apples in the orchard.

Eliza has perfected the art of animal feeding and we only suffered the loss of some grain when we were attacked by the psychotic Emu. The goats however, were pretty happy to see us:

The alpacas were in a good mood (thanks to the food) and thankfully did not spit at us as they tend to do when annoyed incessantly by small children and large adults:

We found the actual Three Little Pigs and are pleased to report that all three houses were standing tall and there were no wolves in sight (note to the crafty people out there, it is amazing what you can do with an old dog house!):

Eliza was accompanied on her apple picking trip by a few of her "men."  They were all very compliant to her demands, orders and instructions but she did let Otto have some alone time "driving" the old tractor:

Eliza did take command of the life-size toy tractor and, like her grandfather, was quite the driver, although I didn't have the heart to tell her she was driving on the wrong side of the road:

The tractor ride dramatically improved when J joined Eliza and provided the appropriate tractor sound effects:

Otto and Eliza were pretty excited to carry the empty half bushel bags, but not so much when they were "heavy" ("heavy" meaning one apple in each bag):

And no trip to a farm in the fall is complete without a good maze to run through.  Eliza and B had a delightful time running through the maze and taking turns "winning" even though they are both winners:

Welcome to Kindergarten!

It's official.  Eliza is a Kindergartner! Eliza was none too pleased having to wake up an hour earlier than she did for preschool, but once she realized she got to wear her new backpack and meet her new friends, she was pretty excited.

Each morning for preschool, our building super and good friend, Zeljko, waits with us for Eliza's bus.  Since we were walking to school the first couple of days, she got a good luck hug and kiss from her buddy, who did not spill his Starbucks Vente coffee even as Eliza barreled into him!

Eliza's enthusiasm was pretty apparent as she ran down the street (diligently avoiding the cracks and lines since surely she does not want to break her mother's back or spine!).

Eliza is pretty good about playing freeze tag, so I didn't have to worry about her getting too far ahead!

Eliza had been to visit her school for orientation earlier, but the century old building looked grand in the morning sunlight.  She was so excited to see her new "big girl" school as we reached the corner.

Thanks to the confidence that Eliza gained in her two years at Gramercy School she was happy to enter her new classroom, found her coat hook in the closet and her cubby to store her supplies, introduced herself to her two teachers and her aide and cheerily announced to her classmates "I'm Eliza Grace and I am happy to meet you!"  She gave me a kiss good-bye and said she would see me after school.

Who would have thought that my tiny 1 pound 4 ounce baby, who was given a poor chance of survival, who overcame so much adversity in the NICU, who was delayed in achieving every milestone a baby and child should reach, would be going to school with her typical peers, with confidence and a smile on her face.

A whole new adventure begins.

Remember and Reflect

We're Back!

Thanks to Hurricane Irene our stay on Saba was extended by a week.  Irene paid us a visit early last week, before it headed to New York and Jet Blue decided is was prudent to cancel our flight rather than flying into "weather"  (isn't everything out there "weather"?), but I digress.

Eliza had a grand time with her Saba cousins, German cousins and Saba Best Friends.  I had a pretty good time too with family and wonderful neighbors.  At last count we barbecued about 40 pounds of ribs, 50 pounds of chicken, untold ears of corn and I even made fungi (polenta to you Americans) with the help of my neighbor Melisa.

We took a nice walk on the Dancing Trail before Hurricane Irene paid us a visit.  There are spectacular views and Eliza was quite good about not falling off the cliff!

We also ventured into the world of traditional handline fishing off of the Fort Bay Pier with some cousins.  Eliza caught her first fish and while it was definitely in the "catch and release" size category, it was a bit bigger than the fish her mentor Leonardo caught.

Hurricane Irene was nothing compared to Earl of last year.  There was a bit of wind, but no so much as to stop the Hell's Gate Women's Club from our usual 6 pm cocktail hour.

Eliza's swimming has improved and she was finally willing to give up her tube (unless it was for relaxing!).  We split our time between the Fort Bay and Cove Bay.  The Cove Bay was nice until it was inundated with seaweed.  So if you don't believe in Global Warming, just visit any Caribbean island and you can see that they are all awash in acres and acres of seaweed.  The kids didn't seem to mind though!

She does look a bit like she is adrift off the Titanic though!

 Beers on the beach:

Filling a dingy with the seaweed:

Sargassum Seaweed from the Sargasso Sea in the mid-Atlantic (the only "sea" not to surround a body of land) is all over the Caribbean, likely due to a change in currents and the warmer temperatures:

Despite the seaweed Eliza and her best buddy Maya enjoyed themselves everyday and particularly liked their sleepovers and were inseparable everyday.

While Eliza has not quite outgrown her hammock, I think it is fair to say she has outgrown taking a bath in the kitchen sink:

But despite the seaweed, the hurricane and the too tiny kitchen "tub" we enjoyed some beautiful rainbows and spectacular views everyday from our front porch.

Good-Byes

Today Eliza said good-bye to her Occupational Therapist and the staff at the hospital where she has been receiving OT for over 3 years.  Until last year Eliza also received Speech Therapy and Physical Therapy at this same center.  I don't know if Eliza realizes we are only coming back to visit now and again, but I do know she will miss the lollipops and the snacks from the Child Life Staff.

When Eliza started therapy at this center, she could hardly walk, couldn't speak and was in a seemingly constant state of sensory disarray.  Now she can talk your ears off, can climb a 15 foot rock wall and can write her letters in a pretty-close-to-legible fashion.

For over three years we went to this center four days a week.  While I have looked forward to this day for a very long time,  I know I will miss the comfort of what has been kind of a second home for 15 hours a week.

Preschool ends this week too.  I suspect I will be the one to cry, not Eliza.

And in other less dramatic news:

Did you see how we placed in the Blog Contest:  Top 25 Single Parenting Blogs

Not too bad, eh?

My Personal 20 Step Guide to Surviving the Kindergarten IEP

I was asked recently to provide my thoughts on preparing for and surviving Eliza's IEP as she transitioned from preschool to Kindergarten.  Much of relates to life in New York City, but may be helpful if you live outside of the city or state. 


And as always, your mileage may vary:

1. Get a neuro-psych evaluation early in the fall. It gave me a good sense of Eliza's strengths and weaknesses and helped me to evaluate schools with that knowledge in hand. Of course Eliza improved and changed in the ensuing months, but the report was a good guidepost for me.

2. Contact your local Community Board about upcoming zoning changes and the opening of new public schools. They can give you a sense of what is available in your district, although I would note that there is no guarantee that a child falling within CSE (New York's Committee on Special Ed) is necessarily placed in your zoned school.

3. In public schools tours are often given by a PTA member so asking about their child's experience can be helpful. If you can tour with another parent you are friends with or acquainted with, it can be helpful since you can compare notes and discuss your observations because there may be something you missed and the other parent noted.

4. Look at the physical structure of the school (not just the quality of the paint job) to see if it meets your child's needs (is the school barrier free, is there a play yard, is there a sensory gym, what does the PT gym look like, what level of technology does it employ in the classroom, is there an art program, etc.).

5. Ask about the experience of the therapists on staff, where did they train, previously work, etc.

6. Ask about after school programs at the school and if they are available, would they benefit your child or add something to you child's day that would be enjoyable (for example, Eliza's school has after school programs until 5:45 ranging from ballet, music and art to Tai Kwan Do)

7. If you are looking at public schools, ask about the historic ratios of children in the integrated classes and the experience level of the teachers. While this is no guarantee of what the next year's class size and make up would be, it is a bench mark to use as a guide.

8. Since public school tours are primarily geared toward typical children, ask to observe an integrated class. The tour guides are generally accommodating with this.

9. If you are looking at non-public state funded schools, ask if they have any current plans to drop their NPS status, since that may impact issues relating to financing tuition in upcoming school years.

10. Although I was most keen to see the kindergarten classes on the tours, ask to see the upper level classes as well. Although it is hard to envision what your child may need in 3 or 4 years, it is a good idea to see what the school is providing down the road and the general class structure and make up.

11. If you are looking at non-public state funded or private schools and your child is selected for an interview, don't be reticent about asking what the school is looking for in the class profile, how your child will fit into that class profile and why the school thinks it is a good fit for your child (as opposed to why they think your child fits their class profile).

12. If you are looking at non-public state funded schools or private schools, ask if they provide PT. Many do not and if your child needs PT, it would be an after school therapy you will need to coordinate and arrange.

13. Ask how many OTs, PTs and SLPs there are on staff and how many children they are servicing. Sometimes doing the quick math in your head will lead to the conclusion that not all children can get their full services at school and you would therefore get an RSA (in NY a Related Service Agreement) for after school therapy. If that is the case, you would have to factor that into your schedule and your child's daily schedule.

14. When you have settled on your preferred school choices meet with your child's current teacher/therapists/social worker to get a game plan for your IEP. Decide ahead of time what your wish list is, but also know what you are willing to negotiate. Your child's current teacher/therapists/social worker are great resources to help guide you on this for your child.

15. When thinking about therapies that you want to be provided during the school day, ask whether these are push-in or pull-out therapies. If they are all pull-out therapies you are seeking and it is a total of 12 hours a week for example, that means your child is missing 12 hours a week of class time with his or her peers. In my case, I initially was firm that I wanted only 1:1 speech and OT, but after discussion and reflection on how Eliza does in a small peer group, I decided that having some sessions of speech therapy and OT in a small group of 3 would work well for her. Also keep in mind your child's busing needs during the school year since that will be addressed at the IEP meeting.

16. If you are looking at public schools and think you child needs a 1:1 aide (whether for behavior, feeding, motor function issue, etc.) be prepared to support that need at your IEP meeting.

17. Prior to the IEP, make a checklist or outline of your child's strengths, weaknesses and needs and have the documents handy to refer to them during the IEP meeting. Although you may have submitted 100 pages of information to the IEP Team, so have another 100 families, so the IEP Team is not likely to know your child's history with any detail, and may be basing its assessment on a 30 minute observation of your child. If you can refute the observations and back that up with references to progress reports, the neuro-psych report, medical reports, your arguments for the services are more persuasive.

18. If two parents attend the IEP meeting, it might be helpful to designate one as the "advocate" and one as the "note taker," so you can more easily formulate follow up questions or review areas that may have been overlooked. If you are a single parent, it might be helpful to bring a friend or family member to be the "note taker."

19. www.wrightslaw.com has some excellent resources about IEPs, the IDEA and a "yellow pages" of advocates and attorneys by state.

20. As to selecting a neuro-psych, I would note a few things. Many do not take insurance and the cost can run up to $5,000. There are some who do take insurance and you should contact your insurer first to see what, if anything, they will reimburse you for the costs, or find out if they have any neuro-psychs in their network. Some hospitals have programs which offer free or discounted neuro-psych evaluations if you agree to allow them to anonymously use the data they collect during the evaluation, but these programs vary year to year. I opted to have Eliza's neuro-pysch testing spread out into 2 to 3 hour time blocks (with a break) over the course of 4 weeks since I felt any more testing in one or two days would be too much for Eliza and would not give a true reflection of her abilities.

If anyone else has any suggestions to add the list, feel free to do so in the comments.

"Sustenance"

A friend recently forwarded an article entitled Sustenance written by Kerry Cohen, in the July 29, 2011 edition of Literary Mama.  It is a beautiful, and painfully true, article about raising a child with a feeding disorder and who simply refuses to eat.  While the origins of feeding disorders vary, and can often be the result of basic mis-wiring of some unidentifiable neural connection, Ms. Cohen's description of life with a child who has little to no interest in food, the never ending and changing theories and treatments for the disorder presented to the parents and the deeply held hope that one day this will end and your child will eat macaroni and cheese, resonates with all parents who are facing this challenge.

Thank you Andrea for sharing this article.