Saturday, November 17, 2012

Prematurity Awareness Day

Today is Prematurity Awareness Day.

Technically November is Prematurity Awareness Month, but since every cause now has an awareness, day, week, month, some causes tend to get lost in the shuffle.

A few years ago I posted a lengthy blogpost about why prematurity sucks.  Below is my updated version of it (yes it is okay to plagiarize myself).


I think the main thing we need to be aware of about prematurity is that it sucks.

It really sucks.

Prematurity takes what should be a normal infancy and turns it into a journey into medical hell. It robs both parent and child of a normal infancy. Instead of filling baby books with milestones like "smiled for the first time" you make note of milestones like "weaned off ventilator." 

You and your baby are robbed of quiet, private moments. Instead, the two of you spend those moments in a room filled with strangers, doctors, nurses, monitors, alarms and machinery you didn't even know existed when you filled out your baby registry.  

People tell you well intentioned, yet terribly inappropriate, things like "things happen for a reason," "God doesn't give you more than you can bear," "at least you never got stretch marks since the baby was born so early" or "you're lucky you get to sleep at night since the baby is in the hospital."  It would be better just to say "wow this sucks" or "is there anything I can do to help" and actually mean it.

You wake up day after day wondering if this is the last day you will see your child.

Prematurity financially devastates families. 

Contrary to popular belief, there is no insurance fairy who pays the tens of thousands of dollars of co-pays or the endless "uncovered" things like speech therapy or adaptive equipment. Even "good" insurance isn't "good enough" to cover prematurity. Instead of paying for a babysitter, you have to pay for a nurse to watch your child, instead of daycare, you have to hire a nanny, instead of working full time you have to take a leave or work part time because of the sheer number of medical appointments your child will have after leaving the NICU.

Prematurity is isolating, physically and emotionally. 

Because of the baby's fragile immune system, you have to limit to whom and what the baby is exposed. Of course friends and family assume you are simply nuts, because, as they will all tell you over and over, everyone needs to be exposed to germs. Actually not. It is emotionally isolating because no one, other than the other shipmates on the SS Prematurity have even a clue as to what it is like to take your infant to a minimum of one doctor visit every week, not have a single day for just you and your baby because three therapists show up everyday, on schedules that are convenient to them not you and your baby.

Prematurity devastates families emotionally (see all of the above).

Prematurity doesn't necessarily end when you leave the NICU.

Depending upon the level of a child's issues resulting from prematurity, parents may spend years and years fining the right school, the right educational model, the right educational tools to help their child learn appropriately.  If you are a parent of a typical child, teach your children to have compassion and empathy for  children who may learn differently from them. Ask us why our child has an aide or para, before just assuming that it is for some outrageous behavioral issue.  And stop using the word "retard" in your everyday language. Just stop it.

So what can we all do to help make this suck less?

Well, you can donate money to various charities in the hope that some of the research they fund might end the many, many causes of premature birth. 

Or you can do something a bit closer to home and more personal, which is what I prefer to do.

Call your local NICU or its support group and ask what you can do to make this whole thing suck less. Small things can make prematurity suck less. For example, my mother, my aunt and I make blankets and hats for the babies. There are dozens and dozens of babies that have worn my aunt's tiny "wee caps" and many who have been warmed by one of my mom's blankets and even though my blankets are far from "perfect" they are made with love. Some people make isolette covers, some people donate disposable cameras for parents to leave at the baby's bedside (yes we do take photos of our babies in the NICU), other folks donate gifts cards for coffee or gasoline to be given to those in need in the NICU. Others donate story books to the NICU (yes we read to our babies the same as you would at home). If you are feeling really generous, ask if you can send over bagels and coffee for a Sunday brunch for the parents and nurses (they get hungry too). Not all parents in the NICU can afford NICU clothes for their baby, so think about donating some NICU shirts or preemie clothes to your local NICU.

Even if you can't prevent premature births, you can make prematurity suck less for the parents and the babies who are in the NICU right in your hometown.

So this November, let's see if we can all make prematurity suck less.

Monday, November 5, 2012

November in New York City

Originally I had planned my end of October post to be one filled with photos of Eliza and her Halloween shenanigans. 

But then Sandy arrived.  

We still were able to trick or treat since we were extremely fortunate to be in an area of the city that did not suffer any power outage or any real damage, so Eliza and her friends had a bit of normalcy. Eliza and I were fortunate to be able to share our home with some friends who did not have power, so the kids thought it was one never ending play date and were spared the devastation that so many have lived through.

Eliza and I have been through pretty bad hurricanes on Saba, but seeing a hurricane hit a city of 8,000,000 people, plus the millions of people in New Jersey and Long Island is a far different thing.  Sometimes we think our city and our beaches are invincible but we were reminded in a terrible way that our city and shores are not immune to the force of nature.

We are now a week post-Sandy and with the election upon us, the news is already focused on other more national and global issues, which is understandable to a degree,  But as I talk with people in other parts of the country, I am shocked by their assumptions, very wrong assumptions, that everything is just fine here.

It is far from fine.

This was not a free week's vacation from work and school.  People have died, people have lost everything they had, people have been displaced from their homes, from their hospital beds, people are cold and hungry.  Lots and lots of people.  And many of them, like the people in Far Rockaway, Queens, are very poor and do not have the resources to move to a hotel and wait for an insurance check to come in.

Even in areas, like Manhattan, where things are approaching "normal", they are far from "normal."  The power has been restored to lower Manhattan, but many, many buildings cannot turn up the power because of low voltage/high voltage issues.  Some offices, like mine, have electricity but there is no heat, no phone, no internet.  These are minor issues to face in the scheme of things, but I give them as examples of what is going on the in areas of the city that are perceived to be "back to normal."  

Maybe there is a perception that New York has resources, wealth and has survived 9/11 so we have endless resiliency?  I don't know what the answer is, but it is has been very disturbing to me the number of people who seem to think everything is approaching the hunky-dory phase here.

So if you are inclined and are near one of the affected areas, you can volunteer your time to make meals for people who are hungry or donate food to a local pantry or help a neighbor gut their house.  If you don't have money to donate, maybe you have time to donate.  Maybe think about having your kids learn the value of charity, they are never to young.   If you're not in an areas where you can do these things, you can donate to the Red Cross, even if it is just the cost of your next cup of Starbucks.

You can help and there are thousands of people who need help.


Monday, October 22, 2012

90

This past week my mother turned 90.  

Ninety years old is a pretty big  milestone.  

In fact there are only about 100,000 people in the tri-state area who are 90 and not many of them are sharp like my mom or live independently like she does.

Eliza was very excited that Nana was going to be 90, since it is "really close to 100."  She dutifully made a birthday card. I have to admit that I did try to steer Eliza toward something with flowers and butterflies, but Eliza was pretty firm that a birthday card for a 90 year old Nana needed two things:

A Wood Pecker and a Pigeon.  



It's hard to figure out what to get your mother when she turns 90.  She has 47 sweaters, enough carves to make a rope to reach to China, and doesn't need any hats since her hair serves as hat all by itself.  

So Eliza decided that she should make a portrait of Nana to match the one she made of Papa.  This way, Eliza says, they can be together.  Papa's is water color and oil pastels and Nana's is chalk pastels and oil pastels.



Cousin Bonnie volunteered to get the cake. She spelled B-e-s-s-i-e THREE times to the baker.  Clearly the baker thought my mother is of French decent since he spelled it "Bessay" (and yes, it it does say "Happy 29th Birthday" because, let's face it, no one really believes my mother is 90).



We had a wonderful dinner at one of my mother's favorite restaurants with Bonnie, Eliza and some family friends. We stayed out a little too late (as can be seen by Eliza's face here), but they did provide lots of free refills on the wine and what the heck, you should stay out until midnight when you're 90.



On day two of the birthday weekend, my mom, Bonnie, Eliza and I went to Ellis Island.  My mom has wanted to go for some time, since this is where my grandfather entered the United States and his name is on the Ellis Island Wall of Honor.  The weather was a perfect fall day.  The National Parks Service employees were wonderful and we never had to wait on a line and even got special seating on the ferry.




We were all pretty excited and clearly had inherited our ancestors sea legs.




My mom and Eliza were both thrilled to see the Statue of Liberty in all of her glory.




Ellis Island has been beautifully restored and the main building overlooks the garden with the Wall of Honor.


My mother refused the wheel chair for the first part of our trip and we all took a nice long stroll through the garden to look for my grandfather's name.



The wall overlooks the harbor, and you can almost imagine my grandfather's ship coming into New York Harbor in 1917, almost 100 years ago.


We found my grandfather's name and my mother was so happy to see "Stanley I. Johnson" engraved on a beautiful wall looking over the harbor of the city in the country he came to call "home."






 




I think my mom was very happy to be able to cross this wish off her bucket list.

The birthday weekend continued with lunch the next day with my cousin Tracey and her husband Charlie and daughter Paige.






But I think the best gift any of us can give to ninety year olds is simply our time.  My mother was delighted to know how many friends and family wished her a happy birthday on Facebook (and has made me print out all of your good wishes).  

I am so blessed to have had my mom in my life and I know so many people who have not been as lucky as I have been.  My mother has been my rock and being able to spend time with her and talk with her each day is a gift to me and to Eliza.  Eliza adores her Nana and I think they both look forward to their sleep overs and cuddling up with some good books.

Happy birthday mom.  I so very much hope that Eliza gets her wish and we can celebrate your 100th birthday together.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Eliza's Trip to China -

--- Town.  Let's face it. Chinatown is "almost" like going to China, but without the long commute.  What brought us to Chinatown was a little known "cultural" experience called Chinatown Fair.  Chinatown Fair is home to a random assortment of arcade games and pinball games of my teenage years (back before Reagan was president).  Think of it as Chuckee Cheese with an edge to it.  Normally you can see the "World Famous Tic-Tac-Toe Chicken" but she was home for the night.  I've tried to beat the Tic-Tac-Toe Chicken many times over the years and have never beat the chicken.  To my knowledge no human ever has.




Eliza wasn't too thrilled with the noise level, but once she realized she could play Wheel of Fortune and an electronic version of Roulette she was hooked, because man it is all about how many tickets you can collect!


I think Eliza has a bit of affinity for the Vegas style games and managed to hit the jackpot not once but twice.  Since the lottery isn't working out for us as savings plan, I'm thinking a quick trip to Las Vegas with Eliza may be in order.

Eliza also got to take a trip to the Courthouses which basically abut Chinatown in lower Manhattan.  Eliza spends a lot of time in my office with me, but thinks of it as "Patti's House,"  Patti being my secretary and the first face you see when you arrive.  Despite trying to convince Eliza that Patti does not live on Wall Street in our office  there is no changing her mind. Eliza also seems to think that what I do at Patti's House is not actual work, since why would I be working if I was merely visiting Patti.  

Trying to explain what a lawyer does to a 6 year old is not the easiest thing to do.  Really, do I point out that people can't agree on what they thought they actually had agreed to in that thing called a contract so they sue each other, or they hate their old lawyer so much they want to sue him.  So I figured I would take the moral high road and take Eliza to the Courthouses and explain that "lawyers help people when they disagree and this is where the judge decides who is right (or who had a better lawyer)."

I don't think she was impressed:




But she did enjoy the fountain  and sculpture, Triumph of the Human Spirit by Lorenzo Pace (and the skateboarders were an added bonus):






And no trip to Chinatown is complete without a trip to a fish market.


Where one of Eliza's best buddies, Archie, was able to bring home a live eel, much to the dismay of his parents.  The eel was set free the next day in the East River, so no animals were harmed in the making of this adventure.

The city,  It's a great place for a kid,


Friday, September 21, 2012

A Sailor's Sailor

My cousin Will Johnson, from Saba, is a prolific and wonderful writer about days gone by on Saba.  He wrote this article about my grandfather and shared it with me.  

My grandfather lived to the ripe old age of 98 (and would be 122 if he was alive today).  I was so very, very blessed to have him in my life until I was well into my twenties. We lived in a two family house with my grandparents until I was about 5 and I have the happiest memories of spending my days with Papa.  When we moved to our own house, we were only three streets away so he continued to be an almost daily presence in my life.  He was one of the kindest and compassionate men I ever knew.  And he was always up for a good bit of fun too!  He taught me to tie sailor's knots, make elaborate rope braids (who knew you could "make" rope), helped me and my Dad make go-carts (which in annoyed my grandmother to no end since we stole the wheels from her shopping cart), taught me how to paint a house (it is all about the right brush),  that it is OK for grown men to cry tears of happiness or sadness and that if you fall down, which you will (figuratively and literally) you need to reach deep inside and pick yourself up again, no matter how hard or impossible it seems.  When my grandfather was 74 he fell from a roof scaffold that collapsed (yes he was still working as a house painter at 74, his post-sailing profession).  As a result he had to have one leg amputated.  The doctor did not want to give him an artificial leg because of his age.   He insisted upon it and a few months later walked unassisted back to that doctor and told him not to make assumptions about what people can and cannot do when they are determined.  Papa had to learn to walk all over again, but did so with grace, never complaining about the bad hand he had been dealt.  He even learned to dance again, because he loved a good dance.

My grandfather and father were as close as father and son instead of as father-in-law and son-in-law.  They shared many things in common: life at sea, good humor despite both having very, very hard lives growing up, strength in the face of adversity, compassion for those around them and love of their family.  And they both knew how to make great go-carts.

Although Eliza's memories of her Papa, my father, are limited since he died when she was only 3, I hope she can carry those memories with her.  I dearly wish Eliza had been given more time with my Dad, but hopefully I can pass some of the life lessons my Dad and Papa taught me on to Eliza. And maybe someday make her a really cool flaming orange go-cart, just like my Dad and Papa made for me.


A Sailor's Sailor

By:  Will Johnson

Stanley Johnson was born to Rebecca Elizabeth Vlaun and John George Johnson on Saba on February 6th, 1890. At the age of fourteen he first set sail on various local schooners, traveling through the various West Indian Islands. He sailed with local captains including Knight Simmons, Benjamin Hassell, Thomas Vanterpool and Augustine Johnson.  On January 2nd, 1922 he married my Aunt Alice Eliza Simmons (19) daughter of James Horton Simmons and Agnes Johnson.

At the age of thirty-seven, Stanley sailed to the United States aboard the “SS Caracas” arriving at Ellis Island in New York on April 13th, 1927. Along with him on the steamship were six other men from Saba: Reuben Johnson (age 45), David O. Johnson (age 16), William Johnson (age 36), Moses Johnson (age 52), David Johnson (age 17) and Richard Johnson (age 45). The official Ellis Island Ship’s Manifest indicates that all seven men listed their destination as 27 South Street, in lower Manhattan. This was the address of the Sabans godfather for fifty years Mr. Hyman Kalisky a Jewish merchant who was of Eastern European origin. He and his wife operated a boarding house and clothing store which was primarily used by sailors from Saba during their stays in New York. People on Saba even name their children Kalisky back then. Mr. Kalisky served the sailors well, assisting them with employment on ships, collecting their pay and sending mail and money back home to the families the men had to leave on Saba. The Kalisky family embraced Stanley as if he were a member of the family.

    After arriving in New York in 1927, Stanley was not to return to Saba until 1936. During those nine years he sailed for four years on the four-masted schooner the “Albert F. Paul”, with Captain Southard and his wife Ruby, who were like family to him. The “Albert F. Paul” sailed from Nova Scotia and the New England fishing grounds to the Gold Coast of Africa. The other schooners upon which Stanley sailed carried various goods and products as diverse as corned codfish from New Bedford, Massachusetts and potatoes from Long Island, to salted cowhides from Brazil. He traveled around the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa and the Horn of Africa while sailing for Moore-McCormack Lines and Kerr McGee. During these years he also sailed the inland waterways, particularly the Hudson, from the St. Lawrence Seaway to New York harbour. He sailed on the Georgia, the Tennessee and the Mohawk, carrying timer down the Hudson. After sailing inland for several years he returned to the sea, sailing out of Mobile, Alabama and New Orleans, Louisiana for the Waterman Steamship Company of Boston, Massachusetts.

    During this nine year period sailing out of New York, he, like many other Saba men, decided to become an American citizen. On March 17, 1932, while still listing his residence as 27 South Street in New York he was sworn in as a United States citizen. His decision was based in large part because of the opportunities the United States had provided to him.

    In 1936, he returned to Saba and sailed again on local schooners. He remained on Saba until shortly after the death of his beloved mother Rebecca, in 1938. He never had the opportunity to see his homeland again.

   Not long after his return to the United States, World War II began. He sailed with the Seafarer’s International Union as a Merchant Marine. As such he sailed on unarmed cargo ships in convoys to Europe and Russia, bringing aid and much needed supplies. I stayed at his home in Richmond Hill for two months in the winter of 1967 and I remember him telling me stories about how cold it was in Murmansk, Russia. If you made the mistake and held on to the rail your hand would stick to it.

    During the war he frequently sailed on the Robin Tuxford under Captain Kenneth Chamberlain. Along with him on the Robin Tuxford was Stanley’s first cousin, Edward Johnson, who served as Chief Engineer. The Robin Tuxford made numerous trips to Murmansk, Russia, one of the most northerly open water ports in Russia. Stanley also sailed on the ‘SS Graylock’, which was sunk off the coast of Murmansk in 1943. He and his shipmates were rescued by a British Corvette and brought to Glasgow, Scotland, where they remained for some months recovering from pneumonia. Stanley also had the unfortunate luck of having another ship torpedoed by a German U-boat off the New England Coast.

    As a result of his service to the United States, Stanley was awarded four service medals, including two medals for service for service in the Atlantic War zone. The United States did not, however, issue these medals until decades after his service, because Merchant Marines were not traditionally recognized for their war time service, since they were considered civilian. This oversight was corrected by the U.S. Government in the 1980’s and these brave men received the honors they deserved.

    Stanley Johnson also received a medal of honor from the Russian government for his service in the convoys which brought life saving necessities to the ports of Murmansk and Arch Angel during the war. He was honorably discharged from the United States Maritime Service on August 15, 1945.

   During his fifty plus years at sea, Stanley sailed to the ports of Africa, Asia, Europe, South America and North America and was devoted to the sea. Upon his final retirement from the sea he lived out his remaining years in Richmond Hill, New York with his wife Alice, his children Bessie, Carl Lester and Arlene and his beloved grandchildren. He died peacefully at the age of 98 on April 7, 1988.

    Before he died in 2008, his son Lester wrote about his memories of his father the sailor. What he describes is the way most children saw their father’s lives on Saba when the island had more than 700 men out of a population of 2400 who listed their profession as seamen.

    “The unusual thing about memory the older we are the shorter our memory becomes. However, the greatest values in the lives of humankind are the ability to remember, to change and to forgive. These three qualities hold us together as a people like the arms of a loving mother. As our ability to store new knowledge declines old age takes us back to the beginning memories of our childhood. My childhood memories of my father did not start until I was twelve. The greatest weakness of the human mind is the inability to distinguish between good and evil without experience of the senses.

    We can remember what we see, what we hear, what we smell, what we taste, and what we touch. However, without involving our five senses, we cannot remember anything that was real. For the women who married our Saba men and bore them children none of the senses played a part in their lives of loneliness and longing for many years at a time. Life was no different for the children who came from these marriages. However, our continued existence as a people is testimony to the goodness, the will to survive and the self-sufficiency of the lives on the Auld Rock in the old days. We gave a good account of ourselves no matter where we went.

    My father loved the sea. The wooden ship with iron men sailed into the hopes and dreams of my childhood and stayed there with the passion of a love affair. I wanted to be a sailor like my father was. However, when my time came to plant the tree of life the sea was not important because my mother’s life and that of my sisters and it caused me to choose the land. I have no regrets because being on land allowed me to have the kind of life, I wanted. That also included my parents after World War II.

     The early letters came from Kalisky’s Boarding House and Restaurant at 27 South Street, New York City. There were many months between letters. My father sailed the world. Once around Cape Horn and through the straits of Magellan to the West Coast where my father was gone for a year and everyone thought he had been lost. He returned from Chile very much alive with stories. Even in the face of what other people would call abandonment most Saba women stayed true to their husbands.

    When steam replaced sailed for commerce on the high seas, my father shifted to inland waters where he worked for some years. These inland ships also served as homes to many Saba men. Those were the days when their seamanship, honesty and reliability served them well. It helped them to survive the Great Depression that was still going on when World War II started.

    Sabans in those days mostly put their roots down in New England and New York especially. Their family names march on into the future all over the United States.

    My father saw me for the first time when I was two years old. I did not see him again until 1938 when I was thirteen. He was home with his family for almost two years. Suddenly he was alive, a husband, a father and a friend to all who knew him and those who came to know him as a friend and loved him for he was a good kind man. He saw everyone as equals. What stays with me in my old age was my father’s way when he saw someone approaching. He would wet his under lip with his tongue. He always began with a compliment and finished with a story or a joke.

   When my father arrived home, it was one of the most joyful days of my life and the saddest day was the day he left in 1940 to return to the United States. The world was on the verge of World War II. I had gone to the Fort Bay to see him off and I was sitting on a rock. I could smell my father’s pipe a mile away and then his arm was around me and we were both shedding tears of goodbye, because they were part of the life of every family on Saba at one time or another. I cried for days for my father. I loved him with my entire being. He told me that day when your time comes to go to the United States you must go because that is your country. That time came at the heights of World War II and I was able to see my father sooner than I hoped. However, when we parted then I did not see him again until I came home from the Army and he quit sailing. From then until he died about fifty years later we were father and son who never exchanged a hard word in anger.

    The next fifty years of my life, I devoted to my parents and my own family. However, time stops for everyone and I will never forget the morning that I received a phone call that my father had gone from the nursing home to the Hospital. He told me that morning, “Son your auld father will never leave here alive.” When I went back in the afternoon, the nurse asked me:” When did your father stop speaking?” I went in to see him and his eyes filled with tears. I placed my two fingers in his hand and said, “Pappy if you can hear me squeeze my fingers,”. As I spoke he squeezed them several times, for as hard as life can be no human being should die alone. My words of love, comfort and gratitude were those I felt in my heart for him because he had been the best father a man could be under the circumstances of our lives and time we were together.”

    I too went to see Stanley at the nursing home and I remember that his nurse was a lady from French Quarter. His granddaughter Anne Richter is a partner in a law firm on Wall Street and has restored her grandfather’s house at Zion’s Hill on Saba and is a frequent visitor to Saba. She did the research on his life for me. I interviewed him in 1967 when Richmond Hill, where he lived, had as many Sabans living there as on Saba. I remember watching the first flakes of snow coming down together with him. He was pleased that he could share that moment with me as that was the first time I had ever seen snow.

    As a final note, my aunt Alice Eliza Simmons also lived to be close to 100 years, so they both could tell me many stories of the Saba long before my time and which I can now pass on to another generation. Uncle Stanley was 22 when my great grandmother Alice Eliza Horton died, and he could bring her back alive for me with his stories of her life and times. He told me that she would send fried fish in an iron pot to her uncle in St. Eustatius with a schooner and that he would write to her and tell her they were still warm on arrival.  Recordar es Vivir.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Rude Awakening

Eliza is in for a very rude awakening tomorrow.  As in this kind of rude awakening:



Yes, little Miss Sleeps-Late will not be waking up at her usual 8:30 a.m., but at 7:00 a.m. for her first day of First Grade tomorrow.

It seems that some slacker mother has allowed Madam to stay up until 10:00 p.m. making endless Angry Bird and Pokemon characters from the endless heap of colored paper we have.  Now I have tried for the past 2 weeks to get her to bed earlier, but since Eliza is pretty good at entertaining herself with her imagination, even if she is in bed at 8:30, she will happily gab away until 10:30 or so. 

In a cruel twist of fate, Eliza's G.I. recently upped her dose of an appetite stimulant and I am pleased to say it is working very well.  However, it is working so well that Eliza wakes up at 1:00 a.m. asking her poor mother to make her scrambled eggs (said mother obliges since any food at any hour is a good thing in this household).

So adding the late bedtime, the middle of the night breakfast and the early wake up, I would say Eliza and I are in for a big bucket of ugly tomorrow morning.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Baby Obsession

Eliza has become obsessed with babies. 

Not these babies:


Eliza would rather put a fork in her eye than play with a doll.

But Eliza is quite keen on these kind of babies:


I have spent weeks explaining to Eliza that she is going to be the one and only baby in this household.  I've tried the:

Mommy  loves you so much, there is no room for another baby.

Eliza advises that we can make room for a baby, all I have to do is sleep on the couch.

Mommy is too old to have another baby.

Eliza quickly pointed out that she sees women with white hair all the time with babies and since my hair isn't white yet, I am not too old.

Mommy has an ugly uterus (so ugly that my OB took a lovely photo, suitable for framing, since she had never seen one looking so bad in 30 years of birthing babies).

Eliza asked what a uterus was.  OK so not my best reason so I quickly asked her if she wanted to make origami Pokemon characters to change the subject.  Worked like a charm.

Mommy's eggs are old.

Eliza pointed out that Costco sells them by the dozens.  She might have a point here because if I was a celebrity with unlimited resources I could buy some fresh,organic eggs and give the ugly uterus another try.

Eliza has even gone so far as to let me know that she knows I don't need to be married to have a baby so this shouldn't be a problem.  She firmly believes that getting married is only a good idea so we can have someone around to fix things in the apartment.

So maybe the solution is that I borrow an infant for a few hours on weekends until this phase passes?

Not the sort of ad one can place on Craig's List though.

Prematurity... Should It Be a Classification for Special Needs Services?

It is hard to fathom that in a couple of days Eliza will be ten. I look back on the past decade and and am amazed, and often baffled, how sh...